July 2012
The Listening
LIGHTS
Please excuse me, I’m not thinking clear
It must just be stress
But I likely shouldn’t be here, I’m such a mess
I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I’m just trying to get us on the same page (Wish I could explain)
I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey
Wish I could explain The things that I have to work out
I don’t feel right
What has come over me, I’m about
To lose my mind
I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I’m just trying to get us on the same page (Wish I could explain)
I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey
Wish I could explain
Can I let the trees do the talking
Can I let the ground do the walking
Can I let the sky fill what’s missing
Can I let my mouth do the listening, the listening
I never really ever know what to say
When all of my emotions get in the way
I’m just trying to get us on the same page
I always get it better right afterward
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey
Wish I could explain
What I mean to say
You could at least attempt to try your best while you're still around.
WHY DO I BOTHER
Why do I bother keeping this up when I know things will change. Why do I bother continuing this when I know I’ll be feeling alone and lost like I have before. Why do I bother, when things have already changed.
Maybe it’s because I just had hope. Or have. I don’t really know. I’m just trying to stay positive. Do you still read this? I only wonder..
The 'Dark Knight Rises' was fucking amazing.
Holy fuck I didn’t know it could get any better than the last one. But Joseph Gordon Levitt… that man can fucking act. Anne Hathaway did her part fairly well. And why is it that Christian Bale reminded me of Scott Disick nonstop? It’s just the hair… I need to stop watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
I just want to feel loved and wanted.
Ughhhh that’s it I give up. You can’t even do this here how can you even try to far away? When was the last time you did something for me without me asking you to? When was the last time you took the blame and apologized and meant it, and not be sarcastic just because you wanted to just make up? You only wanna call me millions of times when you think I’ve found out shit you’ve done or you know you’d lose me since I found out you fucked up. Otherwise, it’s nothing. You just don’t want to put in the little bit of effort anymore because you got me. Congratulations, you got me. But it doesn’t work like that anymore.
Oh I’m fucking sorry that was inconvenient. But that’s what people like us do. If I miss you I’m gonna call you to tell you that ‘cause I wanna. If you mean something to me I don’t ever want you to not know that. And you tell me to act like I care and when I do, it’s inconvenient. And it’s more like you’re the one that’s unappreciative because every damn thing I do it’s just inconvenient. Sorry for interrupting but at least I sound happy when you interrupt me/call me when I can’t talk. I always do. Because I am glad to hear from, even if it’s bad timing. But if I ever stop doing these stupid little things, it’s not because I don’t care. It’s because I feel like I can’t.
