Change isn’t always easy to accept. It’s hard when things constantly change, it’s hard when things suddenly change, and it’s hard when you don’t know what to expect, or what has or will happen. Change is either accepted and people live with it, or it is let go of and people move on.
You cannot continue chasing someone who wants nothing to do with you. You cannot continue wanting someone who does not want you. Technically, you can - but why bother? Of course, some say it’s worth it. Some of us don’t easily give up. Some of us swore we’d never give up. Some of us get tired of waiting around, some of us get tired of the fights, the bullshit, the stupid little things. Some of us promised we’d fight for each other, forever, but promises will get broken. Some of us change, and some of us change because of change. Some of us accept the change, some of us try to live with the change. In our case, we moved on. We couldn’t wait anymore. We had been holding on to something we lost, a little while ago. It was finally based on a mutual decision that we both let each other go.
It’s not easy to hear the words, “I don’t love you anymore,” especially when you’ve been hearing the opposite constantly over a year, too many times everyday. It’s a hard situation. I understand, though. We’re not in love anymore. I don’t know when we fell out of love, but somewhere along the past month, we did. I still care about you, and I still love you, even though I’m not in love with you. You have been one of the most important people in my life over the past year, and you meant everything to me. You still kind of do. You will forever hold a special place in my heart, because you are my first love. It isn’t easy to push somebody like you out of my life, and I don’t want you out of my life. It isn’t easy to stop caring about someone who you once cared so much about. It’s a complicated situation for the both of us, but this trip kind of completed the closure we needed. I don’t know if we’ll forever stay separated and go on with our lives, I don’t know if we’ll get back together in the future. Soon or far. This summer or in ten years. I don’t know. But I am grateful to have experienced what “love” truly is/was, with you. I wouldn’t have wanted to experience it any other way. Maybe one day, we’ll experience it again with each other, or maybe not. Maybe this is a short break, maybe not, but I’m forever thankful I got to spend one of the best times of my life with you. Of course, we agreed on beach trips, hanging out, whatever. That obviously means there’s a chance we’ll get back together, because we cannot be around each other without having the feelings come back. Only time will tell, it’s always been like that. Right?
I’m still in Alabama because my flight was delayed, and you’re probably heading to Georgia, or soon will be. I love you, I always will, and you know I will always be here for you. Despite the hurtful things we have said to each other, despite all the hurtful things we’ve done to each other, I will still care. You were an amazing boyfriend, and you are the best for knowing me better than I know myself. This is goodbye, until whenever we see each other again. Stay safe, and make it back home safe in May.