Trojans by Atlas Genius
It is titled “Trojans”, and no, not after the condoms, but after the Trojan Horse, a very important symbol during the Trojan War - which was the greatest war in Greek mythology and literature. Basically, the Greeks built a huge wooden horse to give to their enemies, the Trojans (from the city of Troy) as a peace offering. Little did the Trojans know that the Greeks had hidden a number of men inside the horse, whom later crept out, assisted the Greek army in entering the walls of Troy, and destroyed the city, ending the war.
What does the Trojan Horse have anything to do with this song?
After listening to this song several times, you will eventually understand the lyrics and grasp the meaning - especially if you can relate. I came across a stranger’s beautiful interpretation of the song, which I think, cannot be interpreted in any other perfect way.
“This song isn’t just about the breaking off of a love, it’s about the un-entangling of two lives intertwined. This guy created many memories with his love and now he’s trying to get away from them so he can move on, hence the “painting of the walls”. However as hard as he tries the there are still little things that he sees in his everyday life that remind him of her. Even though he’s now guarding the gates to his heart these little things sneak inside unnoticed like a Trojan horse and then hurt him when the memories come flooding back.”
This will always be one of my favorite songs. I am sure, many of you, can relate to this song just as much as I can too.
Reflection
I had a really good winter break even though it ended last week, due to taking Economics as a winter class. I sacrificed hanging out with my friends, a couple of trips to the slopes with my family, and a couple of concerts but I needed to put my education ahead of all of that. I’ll work hard now, and play later. But I think this winter break really started and ended well, so I am thankful for that and everyone in my life and every moment of it.
I have been more possessive than usual lately.
Possessive of the time I give to people, possessive of the time that should be invested in myself rather than giving it to someone who really doesn’t give two shits about it. I won’t make up excuses or lies in order to explain my actions, but understand that it is simply in my nature. Or maybe I’m just indifferent towards you. That is also in my nature.
Keep out of my life.
I don’t know what you’re doing talking to me still when you know your intentions. You’re basically living a double life. It doesn’t work like that.
Thought of the Day
Today, one of my best guy friends told me I would make a wonderful wife one day. Last week, another told me I would make a wonderful mother.
Lucky for my future hubby and kids then.
Thought of the Night
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t understand how someone can get into another relationship a month or a few months (I’m talking less than like, three-four months) right after a long term relationship. Where’s the time to be you, and to do you? You don’t always need to be so dependent on someone to love you and make you happy. Learn to love yourself. Learn to grow and be happy on your own. And, it’s not even about the whole doing you thing - it’s also about reflecting, recovering, and becoming a renewed person.
I got out of a long term, close to a two year relationship a couple months ago and I still cannot see myself settling down with anyone anytime soon. I don’t even think about relationships. I’m perfectly happy with doing me, focusing on school, work, and achieving my goals.
It sucks, because there’s been a few guys I’ve casually dated and talked to, and they’re really, really sweet guys. It’s once they’ve started talking about the serious stuff, calling me sweet names and talking about the future… I kind of just shrug away. I don’t want all that, not now, not anytime soon. It’s not like I led them on, which they thought happened anyways, but they just didn’t understand me. Too soon. And whatever they felt with me, I didn’t feel back. And I tried. Feelings cannot be forced. Because I feel so indifferent, I’m incapable of feeling anything stronger than just being attracted to them. I don’t want the emotional stuff, I can’t even feel the emotional stuff.
Honestly, it’ll take a really special, intriguing guy to get me interested like that again. And if he comes around… I don’t know, tomorrow, this month, next year, whenever, then great. But if not, I’m not going to be focusing my life on searching for love or whatever. I’m only 19, holy fuck.
This is my best friend Melissa and I love her to death.
In a couple of minutes,
it will be the 15th of November. And this day always hits me pretty hard, because as every year passes by, I’m always scared that I won’t be able to remember what his voice sounded like, or what he was like. But how could I ever forget? I may have been so young, but those memories are engraved in me forever.
And my little brother, who was only six. He wrote a beautiful essay a few weeks ago on the subject of things that changed him, that helped him grow into the person that he is today. He didn’t let me read it, but I came upon it anyways. I love him so much, and I hope he knows that. I hope he knows that no matter what, I know my Dad is watching over him, and protecting him, and guiding him towards the right direction.
RIP, I love you always.
